We're breaking ground -- and laws

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We're breaking ground -- and laws Monday, May 9, 2005

Michael Sullivan Metrowest Daily News

Memo to all state officials: What exactly do you not understand about illegal aliens?
Here's an idea. If you OK in-state tuition for illegals -- essentially rewarding them for being long-term law breakers -- how about an equal break for law-abiding, legal residents.
I'm curious, though, how will an illegal alien prove he's illegal? How do you prove that you illegally entered, and have stayed, in the state for X number of years?
I guess you show up at UMass or wherever and just say, "Here I am, where are the books?"
Hell, why don't you throw in room and board while you are at it?
I really heard one illegal kid on TV last week justify his eligibility for in-state tuition because he had no say in coming to the United States. His parents, presumably also illegal, he said, brought him along for the ride when they entered the country.
Don't be cheap about it. If you extend such benefits to acknowledged illegals, how can you deny the same benefit to a U.S. citizen who was unlucky enough to be born in Wisconsin?
It seems so terribly unfair -- so un-politically correct -- to deny a U.S. citizen the same rights given an illegal alien.
The ACLU, I am certain, will take up the case for disenfranchised Wisconsin students and those of the other 48 states -- what the hell, make it the entire world.
Not a resident, or citizen, or whatever? No problem, come on down. We got your UMass right here.
You also may pull out your federal lawbooks that say if you want to give illegals in-state tuition, that's OK, but you than have to give it to everyone.
That means bye-bye out-of-state charges. Quick, get out your calculators for that one.
By the way, Beacon Hillers, while you are at it, you really -- in the push to be fair --need to level the playing ground for U.S. citizens in some other ways.
After all, it seems so unfair to shaft U.S. citizens when benefits are being extended to illegals.
So here's what I suggest:
Since illegals got to break the law of their choice -- immigration -- and are to be rewarded for it, extend the same right to citizens.
Here, I'm thinking all actual legal residents of Massachusetts and other U.S. citizens (when in Massachusetts) will have the option to break a law of their choice. I'm not talking murder or mayhem here but things like speeding, car theft, petty larceny -- and of course snow-fort building (think Framingham High School students and amnesty).
We also can have some nifty new PC terms, since so many liberals don't like "illegal alien," preferring "undocumented immigrant."
"Car thief" will be replaced with "auto borrower."
"Speeder" will be replaced with "auto-mobility enhancer."
"Petty theft" will be replaced with economic "re-distributer."
Oh, and to keep all you need-to-feed-at-the-trough types busy, you could establish the new Office of Anything Goes to issue the appropriate card: kinda like a credit card with the law you choose to break checked off.
If ever stopped for said offense, the OAG cardholder could merely pull it out, show to a police officer and be on their merry way.
I know one argument is we are a nation of immigrants.
But the United States of the 1800s or even 1950s is not the United States of today.
If you want to use the immigrant argument and go back to the founding fathers, then I guess you also will be on board with slavery (quite legal back then), the right of pretty much everyone to bear arms (how else to get rid of those pesky Native Americans) and stripping women of the right to vote (that was so 20th century).
I'm guessing you wouldn't go with that.
We're not talking persecution here. The number of immigrants claiming that is miniscule.
Mostly, it seems, the illegals are people who don't want to live where they were born and feel the first thing to do to live the American dream is to illegally enter the country.
Yes, the illegal immigrant issue is a huge one that probably is underreported. Police can scarcely keep up with normal crime, let alone tracking illegals.
It's easier to get a ticket for not wearing your seat belt while driving than being arrested for being illegal.
But how about a start by not rewarding the behavior.

We're breaking ground -- and laws	Monday, May 9, 2005
Michael Sullivan	Metrowest Daily News
Memo to all state officials: What exactly do you not understand about illegal aliens? Here's an idea. If you OK in-state tuition for illegals -- essentially rewarding them for being long-term law breakers -- how about an equal break for law-abiding, legal residents. I'm curious, though, how will an illegal alien prove he's illegal? How do you prove that you illegally entered, and have stayed, in the state for X number of years? I guess you show up at UMass or wherever and just say, "Here I am, where are the books?" Hell, why don't you throw in room and board while you are at it? I really heard one illegal kid on TV last week justify his eligibility for in-state tuition because he had no say in coming to the United States. His parents, presumably also illegal, he said, brought him along for the ride when they entered the country. Don't be cheap about it. If you extend such benefits to acknowledged illegals, how can you deny the same benefit to a U.S. citizen who was unlucky enough to be born in Wisconsin? It seems so terribly unfair -- so un-politically correct -- to deny a U.S. citizen the same rights given an illegal alien. The ACLU, I am certain, will take up the case for disenfranchised Wisconsin students and those of the other 48 states -- what the hell, make it the entire world. Not a resident, or citizen, or whatever? No problem, come on down. We got your UMass right here. You also may pull out your federal lawbooks that say if you want to give illegals in-state tuition, that's OK, but you than have to give it to everyone. That means bye-bye out-of-state charges. Quick, get out your calculators for that one. By the way, Beacon Hillers, while you are at it, you really -- in the push to be fair --need to level the playing ground for U.S. citizens in some other ways. After all, it seems so unfair to shaft U.S. citizens when benefits are being extended to illegals. So here's what I suggest: Since illegals got to break the law of their choice -- immigration -- and are to be rewarded for it, extend the same right to citizens. Here, I'm thinking all actual legal residents of Massachusetts and other U.S. citizens (when in Massachusetts) will have the option to break a law of their choice. I'm not talking murder or mayhem here but things like speeding, car theft, petty larceny -- and of course snow-fort building (think Framingham High School students and amnesty). We also can have some nifty new PC terms, since so many liberals don't like "illegal alien," preferring "undocumented immigrant." "Car thief" will be replaced with "auto borrower." "Speeder" will be replaced with "auto-mobility enhancer." "Petty theft" will be replaced with economic "re-distributer." Oh, and to keep all you need-to-feed-at-the-trough types busy, you could establish the new Office of Anything Goes to issue the appropriate card: kinda like a credit card with the law you choose to break checked off. If ever stopped for said offense, the OAG cardholder could merely pull it out, show to a police officer and be on their merry way. I know one argument is we are a nation of immigrants. But the United States of the 1800s or even 1950s is not the United States of today. If you want to use the immigrant argument and go back to the founding fathers, then I guess you also will be on board with slavery (quite legal back then), the right of pretty much everyone to bear arms (how else to get rid of those pesky Native Americans) and stripping women of the right to vote (that was so 20th century). I'm guessing you wouldn't go with that. We're not talking persecution here. The number of immigrants claiming that is miniscule. Mostly, it seems, the illegals are people who don't want to live where they were born and feel the first thing to do to live the American dream is to illegally enter the country. Yes, the illegal immigrant issue is a huge one that probably is underreported. Police can scarcely keep up with normal crime, let alone tracking illegals. It's easier to get a ticket for not wearing your seat belt while driving than being arrested for being illegal. But how about a start by not rewarding the behavior.

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