Rizoli's boring song and dance

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Rizoli's boring song and dance Sunday, July 24, 2005

Sumner Korins, Framingham Metrowest Daily News

I for one have tired of reading Mr. Rizoli's sulfurous diatribe spread out on the pages of the Middlesex News. I don't mind that Mr. Rizoli pops and fizzes like an Alka-Seltzer in a glass of warm water; I don't mind that he hides his obvious race hatred towards Brazilians behind a mask of piety and patriotism; I don't even mind his false analogies, his twisted logic, his sweeping generalizations unfounded by fact.
But I, for one, find him to be intoxicatingly boring.
In order to achieve any degree of success in demagoguery, the aspirant must first be a good stand-up comic. Hitler was funny. Mussolini was funny. Papa Joe Stalin could let fly a string of one-liners with a deftness that Henny Youngman would envy. Sir Oswald Mosely and his strutting Black Shirts were hilarious.
I've listened to Mr. Rizoli and his Johnny One Note obsession long enough. His frequent eructations are as pointless as three-month old reruns of Jay Leno's monologue, a lame joke that wasn't that humorous to begin with told once too often, as flat and tasteless as last night's champagne.
If Mr. Rizoli seriously desires to emerge from the static darkness of the beer hall to arrive at a Final Solution to the Brazilian Problem in our midst, I suggest he revamp, repackage and reinvent himself and give us a more jocular Jim Rizoli, more eloquent, more adroit, and heaven help us, please - more interesting.
As the sun now stands, Mr. Rizoli has nothing new to say.

Rizoli's boring song and dance	Sunday, July 24, 2005
Sumner Korins, Framingham	Metrowest Daily News
I for one have tired of reading Mr. Rizoli's sulfurous diatribe spread out on the pages of the Middlesex News. I don't mind that Mr. Rizoli pops and fizzes like an Alka-Seltzer in a glass of warm water; I don't mind that he hides his obvious race hatred towards Brazilians behind a mask of piety and patriotism; I don't even mind his false analogies, his twisted logic, his sweeping generalizations unfounded by fact. But I, for one, find him to be intoxicatingly boring. In order to achieve any degree of success in demagoguery, the aspirant must first be a good stand-up comic. Hitler was funny. Mussolini was funny. Papa Joe Stalin could let fly a string of one-liners with a deftness that Henny Youngman would envy. Sir Oswald Mosely and his strutting Black Shirts were hilarious. I've listened to Mr. Rizoli and his Johnny One Note obsession long enough. His frequent eructations are as pointless as three-month old reruns of Jay Leno's monologue, a lame joke that wasn't that humorous to begin with told once too often, as flat and tasteless as last night's champagne. If Mr. Rizoli seriously desires to emerge from the static darkness of the beer hall to arrive at a Final Solution to the Brazilian Problem in our midst, I suggest he revamp, repackage and reinvent himself and give us a more jocular Jim Rizoli, more eloquent, more adroit, and heaven help us, please - more interesting. As the sun now stands, Mr. Rizoli has nothing new to say.

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